


"Say Hi to the Camera!"

by hybridempress



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 14:41:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4568316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hybridempress/pseuds/hybridempress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A video camera found in Arthur's attic brings out bittersweet memories for the children who found it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Say Hi to the Camera!"

     _"Michelle, why're you holding the camera so low? Y'can barely see his face!" Alfred exclaimed from behind his little sister, the girl who was currently holding the camera and recording their father as he stood in front of the Seine River, gazing into the serene waters with a blissful look on his beautiful face._  
  
    _"Shh! H-he doesn't know I'm recording yet!" Michelle half-whispered before bursting into a fit of giggles. The camera started to shake; she couldn't keep her hands steady._  
  
_Francis, hearing these words, turned his head away from the river and stared at the teenagers behind him. There was a soft smirk on his face as he looked at the red light near the lens of the camera, indicating that it was on and he was being recorded. "What are you two doing, sillies?" he asked them softly._  
  
_Michelle only laughed harder. "Say hi to the camera, Papa! We're going to send this to everyone back home!" she exclaimed._  
  
_"Goodness gracious, we're sending it to **everyone?**  I hope you're getting my good side, Michelle!" Francis exclaimed before bursting into a fit of laughter himself._  
  
_"Are you kidding, Pops? Every side is your good side!" Alfred declared._  
  
_"Oh, is that so?" Francis asked, turning his body to face the camera now and placing his hands on his hips, shifting his hips to the left. Michelle squealed softly._  
  
_"Of course that's so. You don't think I married you for your personality, do you?" Arthur said, stepping into the camera's view moments later. "It was all because you have the body of a Photoshopped super model, obviously." He chuckled softly and smirked as Francis pouted at him._  
  
_"I suppose that's the only reason you've been able to put up with me for all these years, and to raise three children with me? Just because of how gorgeous I am?" Francis inquired, now turning to face Arthur._  
  
_"Well, your beauty does distract me from most other things," Arthur replied, grinning faintly._  
  
_Francis laughed. "Even after all these years, I still can't tell the difference between your insults and your compliments," he said._  
  
_Arthur rolled his eyes. "I don't insult you anymore, I love you, you big dolt," he said, grabbing Francis' arms and pulling him closer before kissing his lips gently._  
  
_"Gross! Michelle, don't record that! No one wants to see those old geezers kissing!" Alfred shouted._  
  
_"I do!" Michelle shouted back, laughing as she zoomed in on the image of her parents' locked lips._  
  
_Unfortunately, her recording was interrupted when Matthew jumped in front of the lens, blocking its view of the two men behind Matthew. Both Alfred and Matthew started laughing, which only made Michelle laugh harder. "You guys!! You're ruining it!!" she cried._  
  
_"Oh, just turn the camera off, Michelle. C'mon, the boat'll be here soon," Matthew said, reaching for the camera and taking it out of Michelle's hands._  
  
_He turned the camera around to face Alfred and Michelle rather than himself. He snorted with laughter when he saw Alfred using two fingers to put rabbit ears behind Michelle's head. "Say hi to everyone, you two," he told them._  
  
_Michelle waved to the camera with both hands, while Alfred only waved with the hand that wasn't giving Michelle rabbit ears. "Hi everyone!" they exclaimed in unison._  
  
_Matthew turned the camera's lens to face himself again, holding it with one hand, while he waved with the other. "Hope you guys are having just as much fun as we are!" he said, and turned the camera off._  
  
_The date on the recording had been July 10th, 2012._  
  
_\---_  
  
_The noise of the camera's lens pushing itself further out and back in a little, trying to focus itself on the lights of the city below, could be heard clearly despite how hard the wind was blowing, and how noisy the city was that night. Once the camera had focused itself, a tall figure could be seen standing by the railing around the edge of the tower. The camera's holder shifted the camera's position to be able to see the figure's face properly. It was Francis._  
  
_His long, silky blond locks flowed gently behind him in the wind. His deep cerulean eyes were focused entirely on the horizon, where the sun was setting, basking the sky in the most beautiful combination of colors imaginable. The camera's lens couldn't capture just how magnificent it had been. Quite frankly, it couldn't have captured just how magnificent Francis' face was that night, either._  
  
_His expression was once again blissful. He was so still and quiet, you'd think he was a statue if it weren't for the way that his hair and his clothes were flapping in the wind. His mouth was agape, but only slightly. The camera lens was zoomed in onto his face once again, only to capture the sight of pools of tears welling up in his eyes and beginning to stream down his face. He did nothing to stop or hide them._  
  
_"Papa, are you okay? Why're you crying?" Michelle asked, and the camera was leaned down so that it couldn't see his face, only his torso._  
  
_"H-hm? O-oh, Michelle, of course I'm alright, **bébé.**  I-I'm just... I-I'm so happy, that's all. It feels like it's been forever since the last time that I was able to stand here and look at this place through my own eyes... I-I'm just so glad to finally be home again," Francis replied. His tone sounded so bittersweet. It was filled with joy and wonder and bliss, but at the same time, he sounded so homesick. Michelle knew that he longed to live here again; that he wished that this could be the place that his entire family called their home, just like he always would. _  
  
_"Oh, Papa..." she whispered, and began walking forward. The camera was able to focus more and more on the details of Francis' clothes before it lost sight of them entirely, as Michelle wrapped her arms around Francis, locking him in a tight embrace as the camera recorded the last remnants of the sunset._  
  
_**"Je t'aime, Papa,"**  Michelle said softly._  
  
_Francis chuckled softly, and the sound of his lips against her forehead could be heard by the camera. **"Je t'aime aussi, bébé,"**  he whispered, and Michelle turned the camera off._  
  
_The date on the recording had been July 12th, 2012._  
  
_\---_  
  
_**"Joyeux anniversaire,  
    Joyeux anniversaire,  
    Joyeux anniversaire Francis,  
    Joyeux anniversaire!"**  _  
  
_Matthew, Alfred, and Arthur all clapped and cheered for Francis while Michelle whistled for him, being unable to clap because she was holding the camera. Francis laughed softly before leaning closer to the cake that was sitting in front of him on top of the table and blowing all the candles out in one large breath. Alfred joined Michelle in her whistling, and Michelle began to laugh._  
  
_"Alright, alright, sit down everyone. I'll cut the cake for everyone," Arthur said, sitting down across from Francis and pulling the cake towards him a little. Alfred and Matthew sat on either side of Francis, but Michelle stayed standing, and zoomed the camera in on Francis' face. He was laughing heartily and smiling so broadly that his lips seemed to stretch across the entire length of his face. He looked so happy. It was beautiful._  
  
_"Papa, Papa, what did you wish for?" Michelle asked him eagerly._  
  
_Francis shifted his gaze from the cake to the camera and pouted playfully. "Oh, Michelle, I couldn't tell you that. You know that if I tell you, it won't come true!" he exclaimed._  
  
_"Oh, please, I think that the fairies would grant you your wish anyways. They're too infatuated with you not to give you your way," Michelle teased._  
  
_Francis rolled his eyes, smiling. "Sorry, **bébé,**  but even  **I**  have to play by the rules," he told her. Michelle laughed softly._  
  
_"C'mon, Michelle, put the camera away and come have some cake," Arthur urged, chuckling softly._  
  
_"Oh alright, alright, I'm coming!" Michelle replied._  
  
_The camera shifted away from Francis and focused on Arthur as Michelle walked towards the table and sat down next to her British father. She kept the camera on until Arthur had given her a slice of cake. She let the camera film Francis as he began to eat his own slice, then his reaction as he watched Matthew and Alfred dig in as well. Michelle filmed Arthur pushing a plate over to her, and thanked Arthur before setting the camera down on the table and turning it off._  
  
_The date on the recording had been July 14th, 2012._  
  
\---  
  
    The screen on the TV went to static. Loud, white noise soon filled the entire attic, but neither Matthew nor Michelle bothered to turn it off. They were too stunned to do anything but sit on the dusty wooden floor and stare at the small, old TV that they had plugged into the only electrical outlet in the entire attic just so that they could watch the recordings.   
  
    The date of today was August 13th, 2015. Matthew and Michelle were helping Arthur clean out his attic, and Alfred would be by to help them later that day. Some things, Arthur wanted to get rid of. Others, he just wanted organized. The rest, the kids would take with them to their dorm rooms, or in Alfred's case, his new apartment.   
  
    Matthew and Michelle hadn't even been that far into the cleaning when Michelle had found the old video camera that she recognized as being her own from when she was younger and still living with her parents. Neither she nor Matthew could remember for the life of them what had been recorded on the camera, so they decided to plug the TV in and hook the camera up to it. Luckily they had also been able to find all of the cables that they needed.   
  
    The recordings had been from three years ago, and had hit Matthew and Michelle so hard that they could scarcely breathe. It didn't take long for the tears to come. Matthew tried to hold his back, but when Michelle burst into them, Matthew couldn't help but do the same. He quickly pulled his little sister into a tight hug and buried his face into her hair, crying into it as she sobbed into his chest, clinging to the fabric of his shirt tightly.   
  
    They stayed like that for a few minutes, even after they heard footsteps coming up the stairs that led to the attic. The door was only open a crack, but Arthur used his foot to push it open all the way and stepped into the room, carrying a tray of sandwiches with both of his hands. He was smiling until he saw his children, crying and clinging to each other on the floor in front of the static-filled TV. He quickly set the tray down on top of a stack of boxes and rushed over to the two of them.  
  
    "Matthew, Michelle, what's wrong, what's happened?" he asked frantically, his smile quickly fading and turning into a worried frown as he wrapped his arms around the two of them.   
  
    Michelle pulled away from Matthew just enough to wrap an arm around Arthur's waist and shift her head from Matthew's chest and into Arthur's, but still keeping a grip on Matthew's shirt with one hand. Matthew also wrapped an arm around Arthur's waist, holding onto Michelle's arm with his other hand, and resting his head against Arthur's shoulder. Arthur kissed both of their heads tenderly and rubbed their backs simultaneously.   
  
    "W-we found recordings of Papa... Th-the ones from when we were in Paris three years ago, f-for his birthday..." Michelle murmured.  
  
    Arthur's face paled at the mention of Francis and the recordings. "O-oh..." he muttered, his arms going faintly limp. He grabbed onto the fabrics of both Matthew's and Michelle's shirts to keep his arms from falling to his sides. He swallowed thickly.  
  
    It had been a week to the day since Francis had killed himself three years ago. On August 6th, 2012, Arthur had come home from work to find that his husband had died from a sleeping pill overdose. The children had been out with friends at the time. Francis had been alone that day, and it was a mistake that the family would regret for the rest of their lives.   
  
    They had known that he was depressed. They had seen the light slowly fading from his once sparkling eyes until they were so dull that they looked lifeless. They never knew why or how it was happening. They tried so hard to make him happy; to give him everything. He loved them. They knew that. But there was always the feeling that he could never make himself believe that they truly loved him back. All they could do was continue to show him how much they loved him and hope that he would believe them someday.   
  
    When they surprised him by taking him back to Paris for his birthday, it was the happiest that they had seen him in three years. The life and light had finally returned to his eyes. When he smiled, it wasn't fake. When he laughed, it wasn't forced. He was back to his old self again, and that made the whole family happier than any of them had been since Francis' depression had started.   
  
    They had thought that the trip would make him happier, that he'd finally start to believe them when they said that they loved him, that his depression might be easier to deal with, that he'd start to get better, but they were wrong. He was happy while they were in Paris, but when they came back home, his emotional health seemed to plummet to an all-time low. They should have seen it coming. They should have protected him. But they didn't.   
  
    It was such a fucking stupid idea to leave him alone. They all blamed themselves for it. Arthur didn't have a choice. He had to go to work to keep up the money because Francis wasn't working and none of the kids could seem to get a job. Alfred, Matthew and Michelle had been invited to spend some time with their friends. They didn't think anything of it. They didn't think for even a second that their dad would be calling them later to tell them that their papa was dead.   
  
    For weeks, months after, they couldn't stop thinking about all the ways that they could have prevented this. If even one of them had stayed home with Francis, he never would have had the chance. If they had moved to Paris and lived there, Francis would have been happy again. If they had taken Francis' problems more seriously or just helped him in some other way, he would have been fine. But he was dead, he was gone, he had been unhappy, and it was all their fault.   
  
    Even after three years, the four of them had never really gotten over Francis' death. It was even worse now because it was the week after the anniversary of his death. They still missed him and loved him so much. They still blamed themselves. They still didn't understand why he had left them, or what they could have done to make him happier.   
  
    It was a mystery that they would never be able to solve. A burden they would have to deal with for the rest of their lives. Years would pass, the kids would be married and have their own families. Arthur would be a grandfather to six children at least, but no one would ever forget Francis. Arthur would never love anyone else. Even fifty years from now, when Arthur was dead and his children's children had kids of their own, Alfred, Matthew and Michelle would weep for their Papa who had once held the light of a million stars in his eyes. A light that had burned out far too soon.

**Author's Note:**

> today, rose teaches you why you should never let her see fanart that was drawn to look like a photograph
> 
> but really, I got the idea while scrolling through tumblr and stumbling upon a fanart on my dashboard that was supposed to be a "photograph" or maybe a recording of Francis. It was really gorgeous and he was standing in front of a river. The picture gave me chills but immediately I thought of this horrible au because of it and had to write it down 
> 
> when will i ever write something happy  
> who even knows
> 
> i love you guys tho  
> i hope u enjoy ur suffering


End file.
